Gamer's Delight
by LordGodsServant
Summary: 5 Members of the Normandy's Crew play Axis and Allies.  What role will Mordin have to do in all of this?  Short stories about the crew of the Normandy playing games.
1. Axis and Allies

_Shepard manages to get four other crewmembers to play a game of Axis and Allies with him._

* * *

"Hmm, imitation of Earth War lasting from 1939-1945. Commonly known as WWII, very popular war among human fiction. Five sides with various pros and cons, I choose the United States, prefer large budget for research."

"Legion, which one do you choose?"

"752 programs favor the United Kingdom. We will assume control of this nation"

"Tali?"

"Oh, I guess I'll be Germany."

"Garrus?"

"Japan for me Shepard."

"Figures you guys leave me holding Russia, oh well. Let's play some game!"

* * *

_1 hour into gaming_

* * *

"Guys. I'm kinda dying here in Russia."

"We calculate that the reason of Creator-Tali'Zorah's success is lack of participation by Ally-Mordin Solus."

"Busy, am in process of master plan. Legion, divert forces to aid Shepard."

"We have already committed half of our air-power, historically called the RAF to defense of Shepard-Commander."

"Mordin, there's a good chance I'm going to die if you don't do anything."

"Very well, I will "do something.""

* * *

_2 hours into gaming_

* * *

"Mordin . . . by "do something" I didn't mean shore up your own borders!"

"Had to protect budget, most important goal."

"We judge that valuable resources are wasted rolling for upgrades that have only a 16.66% of success. Assistance rendered to allies should be top priority."

"Master plan, will unfold later."

"Mordin, you're like the Council during the Geth revolution. Sitting back and doing nothing."

"Yeah Mordin, I'm sweeping across the map as Japan and Tali is closing the pincer in on Russia."

"Have faith. Will see why later."

* * *

_3 hours into gaming_

* * *

"Well both Russia and the United Kingdom are destroyed I hope your happy Mordin."

"Yes, am very happy."

"Mordin why are you smiling like that, did you load the dice?"

"No, but you will see since it is my turn. Now I will attack here, here, here, here, and also here."

"What? Mordin how did you get all those troops?"

"No one paying attention, never notice military buildup. Now I shall roll this many dice."

"Uh, no Mordin, you only roll half that much."

"Wrong, upgrade allows me to roll extra dice."

"What! Mordin how many upgrades do you have?"

"All of them."

"Perfect."

* * *

_4 hours into gaming_

* * *

"Wow, what a turnaround. We had them on the run Tali and then Mordin came in and wiped us out."

"I have to hand it to you Mordin you had us all fooled."

"Yeah, sorry about the complaints."

"Don't be, aided in fooling the enemy."

"All in favor of making Mordin play the Russian's next time!"

"Me."

"Me."

"900 platforms estimate this would be a favorable-"

"For Pete's sake can't you just say "me" Legion?"

"We."

"'sigh' I guess that's as close as I'm going to get. How do you like the worst country Mordin?"

"Hmmm, low resources, little strategic locations. All in all extremely hard to play. Excellent, provides brand new challenge."

"I just can't win can I?"

"Shepard-Commander's skills elsewhere are admirable. In board games we register a 30.27% decrease in proficiency."

"Thanks Legion . . . thanks a lot."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed that._


	2. Monopoly

_Imagine the crew playing a high-tech version of Monopoly, some of the figures have changed._

* * *

"Thanks for playing another game with me guys. And thanks for coming Liara."

"No problem Shepard, I always have time to spend with you."

"So Commander, what game are we playing this time?"

"We're playing Monopoly."

"Human game created in the early 20th century by the human calendar. Game works as economic simulation, resources are defined through cash, property, and special ability cards. Object of game is to gain more resources and to outmaneuver enemies into bankruptcy."

"Yes Legion we're all aware of how to play the game, now who's gonna be what, Garrus?"

"I'll take the Mako figure."

"Tali?"

"I'll take the Dreadnaught."

"Liara?"

"I'll take the moneybag."

"Legion?"

"We shall assume control of the figurine made in the image of the Geth."

"Mordin?"

"Unnecessary, brought my own figurine."

"You made a small metal figurine of yourself?"

"Yes, is common family tradition, each member makes figurine to be put with others upon death. Preserves memory of those gone by."

"Whatever, I made my own model myself."

"Wow Shepard, is that a figure of the Normandy?"

"Yep, carved it myself."

"We have run a quality test, your model is superior to those currently being sold to many organics."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Organics seek a profit when exchanging something. Time, effort and money is employed to sculpt models, higher emphasis is placed on the gain rather than the process. In essence the figure may be inferior as long as a profit is made. Is fundamentally similar to Heretic's quest, they believed that cutting a corner was the best option, that they would make a greater profit by putting less effort. However as Shepard Commander demonstrates, effort is most important part of creating something."

"Wow . . . that was . . . deep."

"Our altitude has not altered while we have been commun-"

"Nevermind, let's play."

* * *

_. . . later . . ._

* * *

"Yes, I finally landed on Park Place! I've been saving up and now I own both Park Place and Boardwalk!"

"We judge your excitement to be irrational, you own little besides those two properties."

"Have to agree with Legion here, I'd say that Mordin, Legion, and I are the best bets for winning the game."

"Why do you say that Liara?"

"Oh, let's just let the game speak for itself."

* * *

_. . . later still . . ._

* * *

"Wow, the rest of us are all bankrupt except for Mordin, Legion, and Liara!"

"How did you guys beat us? Tali had both Park Place and Boardwalk, I the green places stacked with Hotels and Shepard had the most money of all of us?"

"Simple, your tactics focused on grabbing section liable to make the most money. Only focused on those singular properties."

"We used this tactical error to purchase all other properties on the board, greatly increasing the chance of metaphorical figurines landing on our properties."

"And with you only owning about one or two properties we rarely landed on yours."

"Shoulda known not to mess with the master's of the games, what do you think will happen now?"

"The game is relatively easily balanced, may devolve to "lucky" shakes of the dice."

* * *

_. . . later for the last time_ _. . ._

* * *

"So how'd it go?"

"It took a long time, Legion kept rolling good but Mordin had the ones where you had to pay up the most. On the other hand I was spread out across the whole board so she was always a danger."

"Who won?"

"We agreed to a draw. We were too tired after playing for so long. Too bad you couldn't play any longer, maybe you should practice Shepard."

"Why does everyone always pick on me for lack of skills in gaming?"

* * *

_Hope you liked that, I would like suggestions for games they could play. If I've played it I could try and put it in._


	3. Candyland

"Remind me why I came down here Shepard?"

"Because you need to spend some time with the crew, you can't just sit in the cargo bay all day long."

"I like my cargo bay, it suits me."

"True . . . name, status, even living space classifies Krogan as a "grunt."

"Even the scientist agrees with me . . . let's just get this over with. What are we playing Shepard?"

"An old classic from Earth. It goes by the name "Candyland."

"This, you're making me play this piece of crap?"

"I actually find the games unpredictability invigorating."

"Thanks Liara, let's just start playing."

* * *

_. . . later . . . _

* * *

"Are we done yet?"

"No, we have to get to the end before we're done."

"Grrrr, we've been at this for an hour, can't we just use dice?"

"No, violates game rules, must abide by them, learned that in Salarian Special Tasks group."

"We can't quit while I'm in the lead!"

* * *

_. . . too much later . . ._

* * *

"Grunt, your turn."

"Finally, whatever I pick I'm gonna win, I better. Then I can finally be over with this stupid game."

"Oh, sorry Grunt, you have to go all the way back to the beginning now."

"Grunt why are you so red in the face?"

"What are you doing Grunt, WHAT ARE YOU DO-!"

"RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I AM KROGAN!"

* * *

_. . . a good deal of time later . . . _

* * *

"Ugggh, what happened? My head feels like it's gonna split open."

"Unlikely unless Krogan punched you in the face which no evidence suggests he did. Most damage would be to torso as that is what the table is resting on"

"I never knew that Grunt was strong enough to lift a table this heavy, much less flip it."

"HEY, GRUNT!"

"Yeah Shepard."

"How'd you enjoy Candyland?"

"I probably won't play it again, the end was fun though."

"Great, now could you lift this table off our lungs?"

"Why don't you ask the Sugarplum Princess to do it, I got a ship to see. After all, you said I needed to leave my Cargo Bay once in awhile."

"Great, now how are we gonna get this table off of us?"

"Hmmm, need heavy machinery or several dozen crewmembers, 2nd option most viable as machinery would not fit through doors. Hmmmm, serious technical flaw in ship design, must run simulation to see how serious. Tests."

"HEEEEEELP!"

"Wow Shepard, how'd you manage to wedge yourselves under that?"

"We didn't, Grunt did."

"Oh, is that what this stack of cards is for. I remember playing this when I was a kid. Say, what's this auto-win card?"

"I put that in there so Grunt wouldn't kill us all."

"A little too late there commander, you placed it four spaces too low."

"Wait, you mean to say that if Grunt had just waited another turn he would've won."

"Seems so."

"EDI, you got this all on camera right?"

* * *

_Again, make game sugesstions, I got this one from a review._


	4. Call of Duty: Krogan Warfare

ReapersMostWanted: _Isn't this fun playing Call of Duty: Krogan Warfare guys?_

UltimateKroganWarrior: _Better than that stupid Candyland game, this is for making me suffer through that!"_

ReapersMostWanted: _Why are you still shooting me? I'm dead!"_

UltimateKroganWarrior: _Sorry, it's just so much fun."_

ScientistSalarian: _Good stress relief, better than flipping several ton table onto squadmate's torso._

LastThingYouSee: _Why do I always miss the cool things? I helped found the Blue Sun's for goodness sakes! Next time you have endless enemies to mow down, take me along."_

KroganLeader: _It wasn't all fun and games, especially back on the citadel when we had to mow through hundreds of Geth and cloned Krogan._

ReapersMostWanted: _How'd you get in?_

KroganLeader: _We now have a good deal of working electricity on Tuchanka, I need to let off some stress from all the idiots who say we can still take the council. This is a lot safer than jumping headfirst into the Varren pits._

GethAvatar: _We advise you all to stop presenting such open targets, we have faster reaction speed than the normal Organic. Example has just been set._

QuarianCommando: _I thought that I was behind cover?_

GethAvatar: _Your head was seeable from our position._

ReapersMostWanted: _Bet you can't guess where I am!_

GethAvatar: _Presumably attempting a flanking maneuver up the back steps that we armed with mines._

ReapersMostWanted: _HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!_

GethAvatar: _Is valid military practice, also, we do not recommend overuse of the "caps lock" key, can destroy keyboard._

ScientistSalarian: _Who's robot is that? _

ILikeRamen: _I like to come in with a bang._

ScientistSalarian: _Certainly achieved that, cannot remember faster time I was killed in a game._

KroganLeader: _Who deployed the other drone?_

QuarianCommando: _I hope you like my little present._

UltimateKroganWarrior: _Perfect, both drones are beginning to fight, a perfect opportunity for me to- WHAT THE CRAP!_

GethAvatar: _We recommended for you not to present an open target as well as not to abuse the "caps lock."_

UltimateKroganWarrior: _YOU ARE SO DEAD!_

LastThingYouSee: _Wow, this firefight is almost as big as the time when I had a price placed on my head big enough to buy a starship by the Blue Suns. About an army of mercs came after me._

ReapersMostWanted: _Bet it can't compare to all my fights._

LastThingYouSee: _I bet I've done more than, GAAH! WHY DOES HE ALWAYS KILL US WHEN WE'RE DISTRACTED?_

GethAvatar: _Most probable time of success._

QuarianCommando: _My drone is superior!_

ILikeRamen: _Not tom mine!_

QuarianCommando: _Mine's gonna win!_

ILikeRamen: _Not before mine can blow yours to-. We both died. Who killed us!_

ShadowBroker3: _Hi guys!_

ReapersMostWanted: _Liara! I thought you were at the Shadow Broker's station?_

ShadowBroker3: _You forget, almost nothing goes on that I don't know about. Thus-. Alright, who just killed me?_

GethAvatar: _We are relieved you did not decide to use the "caps lock" function._

ShadowBroker3: _What's that supposed to mean?_

ReapersMostWanted: _It's a long and painful story that I'd rather not go into._

QuarianCommando: _Has anyone noticed Legion's kill/death ratio?_

UltimateKroganWarrior: _0 deaths and 316 kills . . . life's not fair._

ScientistSalarian: _Hmm, has ability to do ultimate attack, why has he been holding off?_

KroganLeader: _Better question, why did he herd us into the middle? . . . And why is he running now?_

ILikeRamen: _What's that in the sky?_

All besides Legion: _IT'S A NUKE!_

Game: _GethAvatar has won the game!_

All besides Legion: _NEXT GAME, ALL GANG UP ON LEGION!_

GethAvatar: _Please do not us the "caps lock" when you die next game._

* * *

In case you couldn't divine who was who I provided a list:

ReapersMostWanted - Shepard

ScientistSalarian - Mordin Solus

GethAvatar – Legion

UltimateKroganWarrior – Grunt

QuarianCommando – Tali

ShadowBroker3 – Liara

KroganLeader – Wrex

LastThingYouSee – Zaeed

ILikeRamen – Kasumi


End file.
